This life's not about me.

Guarding My Mind; Desiring Him

I had a great Bible study this morning with my girls.

Two things from our talk really stood out to me: Guarding my heart and my thoughts, as well as what it means to desire God.

I admit, I focus on my shortcomings far too much. I wallow in my weaknesses rather than asking God to shine through them. I too often fix my eyes on my failures instead of my victories through Christ. I think about what I’m not good at, what I wish I could change, what I’ll never be…Etc. It’s a never-ending, dangerous pit of despair. I’ve been challenged to not look at my weaknesses as sin, but as opportunities for God to be glorified. The fact is, being weak isn’t a sin; But being fearful of failing and stepping out of my comfort zone can be.

With that, I’m aware that I need to guard my thoughts and my heart behind what I think. As a woman, I’m aware that pretty much everything in my head is tied to an emotion. Whether that emotion is big or small, I tend to dwell on my feelings even when I know and believe God’s truth for me. How can I get in the habit of being changed in this area?

Submitting my thoughts to God, on the spot. By clinging onto my feelings, I’m not even giving God the chance to fill me with more of Himself.
By emptying myself of…Well, myself, I need to be putting GOOD back in. I can’t expect to grow without nourishment. I’m not supposed to, in fact. Reading God’s Word and spending time in worship are two things I know I need to do when I’m placing my sin in God’s hands. If I don’t fill up with good things, the bad have that much more of a foothold to sink back in.
I need to pray in advance for these weak areas. I need to be honest with myself and God and say, “These are my vulnerabilities. I trust You with them…Take them.” I need to be specific with God about how I long to grow and how I know I need His grace. I know I need to “watch and pray” like Jesus asked the disciples in Matthew 26:41. Prayer is powerful.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Phil. 4:8

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.” - Prov. 4:23

The second thing is asking myself the honest question: Do I truly DESIRE to be more like God? Or do I just want to be more like Him…If it’s easy, risk-free, and convenient? I wouldn’t say yes to the latter question, but I wouldn’t say yes to the first either. There’s no contest: My life WITH God is so much more full, purposeful, joyful, challenging, and fruitful compared to my life having Him on the sidelines. I want to be with Him, I want to be more like Him, I want to grow and learn…But at what cost? Do I truly long for Him more than anything else? Do I have sporadic spiritual “growth spurts” and then fizzle out when it all gets too hard or I get distracted by the world? I’m just asking myself these questions. I’m challenged. I don’t want to just say that I desire God…I want to act it, breathe it, sleep it, live it. I more than want it…I need it. I long to desire Him, to be like Him, and to grasp more of what that truly means.